I understand I have some control issues perhaps. And I’ve completely lost control. My husband refuses to listen to me about my issues with him. I feel I’ve lost his respect since we started having kids and he has major issues showing me really loves me. I mean, he won’t never ever planned any date or anything with me or the kids. That’s weird. The kids will not hear me and are all sorts of nuts. They talk back they never do what I ask. I feel I’ve lost their respect too. My friends and family could take me or leave me while I totally reverted back to same ole town instead of sticking on my own and doing my thing in a place I feel in love with. I hate it here. No love. I do see that maybe the common denominator is me in all this but what the fuck is one to do? I feel how I feel. Right now I feel like running the fuck away. Far away. No route just go. Go go go. But since I have too much co-dependence and nothing to get me anywhere- i can’t go. I have to make a change. It’s just what and how. Maybe it’s figuring out what I can control and letting go of what I can’t. Then feel from there. Just how to you just let go? And how do you let go and still raise children? If I knew it wouldn’t be any easier at this age, I might have run away at 20. Oye vay.